No More Lies.

Is a lie a lie
When telling it
Will make it be true?

Is a belief a lie
Just because it
Hasn’t happened yet?

Is it cruel
Using a not-yet truth
To motivate achievement?

(9 June 2015)

A Snapshot Of Truth.

Am I trying to be someone that I’m not?

Expectations of how to be
a husband, a lover, a companion
None seem to fit the person I am now

Expectations on myself
about showing love, about feeling
None seem to fit the person I am now

Who I am is the person I am right now
When all my thoughts, desires, goals
seem at odds with a big part of my life

Am I lying to myself?

Where do I go from here?
Keep up a relationship pretence
Or honour my current confusion and direction?

As I attempt to find myself amongst the confusion
Finding myself fully
Would be the healthiest outcome possible

Leaving behind all expectations on myself
About relationships, about existing
Finding my truth is the goal

Everything is leading to this

Finding my truth is the only real way forward.

Who Are You?

Often
When I look at myself
From outside
While feeling how I do –
I see my brother.
The positive,
charming, funny
friendly person I remember
and admired.
Not the tangled in depression
for years, struggling
person that is there now.
Maybe I am becoming
what he was
and he is becoming
what I was.
Always
underneath the struggle –
is what you are
Your true core,
Don’t let the surface
define the whole being,
In vision, motivation –
Stay true to you.

No Apology.

I’m not saying sorry
I won’t apologise
I meant what I said
and I said what I meant
and I meant what I said one hundred percent.
I know you felt hurt
By my unintentional ranting
But I had been hurt so much
by your actions
by your words that shut me down
that had no love for me
that put up a barrier
because you were uncomfortable with my feelings.
So I had to let you know
as rationally as possible
that letting someone vent
is ok, even
if you think they are being silly
at technology frustrations
Just let it go
As I was attempting to
But don’t shut me up
Because of your own insecurities.

.

[ my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 31 – Apology. With apologies only to Dr. Seuss ]

Powerful Friends.

Your smile
Those eyes
Your warmth
They care
I see
and feel
the truth

My fear
disburses
The heartache
forgotten
Relaxed
I am
not who
I was

Where are
you friend?
Give me
respite
from pain
again
Take me
away
Relief is
palpable bliss