Digging for Well.

Some days there is no trusting myself

Questioning the reasoning behind my behaviouring

Doubting the truth of my feelings of love

Thinking my relationship needs are met

Only after carefully crafted expression

Because someone in my past accused me of that

Even if that claimant was reacting to their own fears

And knowing that is not my intent


That I strive for truth and honesty

In all that I seek or do.

Yet I understand there is possibility

That my little cracked heart

Still has some healing to fully restore feeling

To a level of understanding and completeness

That not everyone manages to achieve

So I wonder if

Despite my best efforts

I do love as transparently as I hope

Do I reciprocate as honestly as I believe?

And the awareness of that questioning

The self digging and uncovering undertaken

Reassures me that I am doing the best I can

Within these moments certainty answers back

“You are doing well”.


Advice to Myself.

There is no need to hurt
Don’t ask why
Don’t deny
 yourself any feeling
Sit with it
Acknowledge it
But do not dwell on it
No judgement for yourself
 or the feelings
Let them be
And let them go
Be at peace with yourself
Within the moment
Let the storms rage around you
You are safe, here
 in the centre of it all
Until the tempest passes

Comfort and Feelings.

my life currently
is emotional uncertainty

so many feelings
a day full, in a moment
a year full, in a day
struggling with them
brings sorrow and sadness
and letting them exist
is my biggest challenge
from the battle

need a touch
a comforting presence
to remind me
its okay
these feelings are okay
they are part of you
let them pass through, and exist
don’t resist
you are worthwhile
you are loved
you are not alone

Continental Drift.

An extra set of hands
to soothe and comfort
to touch and care for you.
I cannot share enough love
the contents of my heart, strain
through these ten points of contact
Can I reach you enough
to make a difference?
My influence searching
through your darkness
Moulding your nothingness
into a solid
we can both feel.
Feelings to connect
to join you to me
so that you don’t drift away
again, forever.


[ I wrote this for myself, Words and feelings that I need right now, While thinking about how it could be for me. And a thankyou to Natalie for the inspiration. ]

On This Day (12 months ago Reblog).

Words of comfort
Posted on July 9, 2013 by wbdeejay

Read this morning on a FB feed story, it connected with me:
“Sometimes we all need to be told that everything is going to be okay, don’t we?”

And I thought I don’t hear that much. Then I thought, I try to tell myself that, but I don’t think I’m very good at really listening to myself. (and *that* is a *big* realisation).

So if it comes from other people, that is good. But I’m not very good at opening up and letting people know me well enough to be telling me that.

And maybe I am so good at “coping” and “getting by” through the tough times that I barely acknowledge to myself that I would benefit from comfort or help, let alone permit others to be aware of my needs.

I think it would be good to receive that comfort, in some way, more often. (but I’m unsure how to let that happen).

But most of all, I think I need those special words to be the starting point for a discussion on just what is going on in my life, of sharing of deep down what is inside me at the time, to let the encouragement reach that scared hidden part of me that is crying out for support.


[ I wanted to re-share these thoughts from 366 days ago (yes it’s been a leap year!) because I feel they are still very relevant today and others may find them of benefit. In some ways little has changed in regards to these thoughts, but looking back at this I do see forward progress (And any positive move after the last 18 months is worth feeling good about). I am better at opening up and letting others in. I am better at hearing the support of others.

Do you need words of comfort? Do you struggle with some of the same questions or do you have similar but different questions of your own? Feel free to share with me in the comments. ]

My Approximation of Real.

Sunday night trying to sleep
by forgetting all that has happened last week
Feet are cold
my body shudders
Put on socks
and then
Cry out loud
all the pain
assaulting me
from being pushed aside
it … just … all … hurts
and nothing in particular
There’s no rhyme
(see what I did there!)
or reason
it’s just all flooding out
Except it’s not –
All the noise in my imagination
So imagine just letting it go
imagine the floodwaters subsiding
imagining the washed clean feeling after being drenched
imagine the release
imagine your comfort
after the storm
Imagine wrapped up warm
and comfortable again
safe … sheltered … secure
The process is distressing
but the results are as real as anything
Can you imagine that?


ask yourself if what you are doing today right now is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow


When you’ve been in pain
for so long
Can’t work out how to fix
what’s wrong
Doubting you have the strength
to carry on
Will you see the dawn break
or night continue strong
There is no comfort, it seems
nowhere you belong
Hear not the words of others
single voice nor throng
Feel nothing outside of self
misery’s siren song
Draws you in deep
nothing feels wrong
There is only one hope, soon
the end will come along