A Return.

I’m back. For a time, who knows how long. My creative energies have been wandering around and exploring Instagram for the past few months. But I feel the need to be back here now. Writing more. Less shiny, more gritty. Instagram will still be a regular hangout. I just want WordPress to be another regular hangout. Like the old days. Much has changed in my life. Much is being processed, still. Much is yet to solidify. And that is life, a journey. I’m feeling good about dropping by here again.

Advertisements

Breaking UnRules Before Midnight.

It’s that time of the the night when the world has gone quiet around me, my brain has cleared of daytime clutter and I want to just sit into the night and write. 

A sleepy brain is actually a benefit to creativity as all the normal barriers and rules have melted away. 

I can access deep, intuitive words and thoughts. 

But the downside is that I push past my need to sleep which becomes problematic tiredness the next day. 

So instead tonight I will lay down my writing devices and attend to my body’s need for rest. 

And tomorrow, perhaps the inspiration will have built up and there will be greater creativity at play.

More Reasons To Write.

Writing to help myself and
to access my inner feelings

Writing to find what I feel

Writing to feel something

Writing to distract myself
from the painful feelings

Writing to mean something

Writing to give a fuck

Writing to believe that
meaning exists at all

Writing when all other
communication seems to fail

Writing when there is
nothing left but words.

(28 January 2015)

Some Days Why.

I write to relate, to connect with others

I write for understanding of me by you

I write seeking acknowledgement and justification for my existence

I wrote so that my struggle has meaning and there is a purpose to this day

Without meaning, without justification, understanding, or connection, there is nothing left at all, nothing but an empty vessel

.

[ this is a companion piece to my previous post Why I Do ]

Why I Do.

I write for myself
to exorcise the demons
to pry open the feelings that eat away at me

I write for myself
to express my emotions
to find clarity in the confusion of my thoughts

I write for myself
to hear a sane voice
for analysis of all that isn’t truly me

I write for myself
to feel free and
to voice the words that really are of me

I write for myself
for the joy of it
to create something new and unique

I write for myself
inspiration breeds inspiration
and my future relies on this source of growth

.

[ last line edited, three words added ]

A Word a Day keeps the Pressure at Bay.

To write or not to write
I ask myself many days
When thoughts and feelings build up
Pressing for release
Writing brings out the emotions
Often leaving me drained
unable to think, focus or function
Don’t write, and the pressure increases
Cracks of distraction creep into my focus
Thoughts wander
while I wonder what is going on inside my body
Sometimes suppression
leaves me feeling numb
as if I’m so upset that I refuse to talk or communicate with myself
The cold shoulder treatment
for ignoring
the essential part of me
Today I skirt around the edges
acknowledging what is going on inside
without diving in and being overwhelmed
It’s a little tense
But I hope I will be understanding later
When I really need my support.

.

[ This non-emotional writing is brought to you by “I needed to get work done today” ]