What if.

Of Love and Loss

What if I can’t love you anymore?
What if I can’t bear to greet you at the door
What if I can’t kiss you goodnight
What if I can’t wake up to you with a heart that is bright
What if I can’t be excited from your touch
What if I can’t handle thinking about you much
What if you are irrelevant to my day, and
What if I can’t think of any more words to say
What if you love me more than ever before, and
What if I can’t feel the connection any more

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Seeking Comfort Without.

(8 July 2014)

Touch you
Kiss you
Hold you
It’s all for you

It’s not for me
I don’t particularly want to
There’s no desire
No wanting this

What I want
Doesn’t exist today
The darkness enshrouds me
Lethargy disables me

Disabled by my mind
Any positivity deactivated
Negativity left to seize control
Aware of all this, yet helpless

Help, I could request assistance
If not already locked inside
Restrained and deadened
Unable to speak up

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Missing Pieces.

I miss you
Words that seem
so little to mean
Hollow response
all I feel from you

I miss
Feeling the love
reflected back
many times a day
where has that gone?

I miss
The energy
bouncing back and forth
enlivening encouraging
connection is gone

Missing pieces
Weakening the whole
Lurching brokenness
Failing emotions
Crumbling apart

Leaves.

With autumn comes the changes
in the colour of the trees
As they glow with inner fire
before leaping on the breeze
Then a symphony of sounds
in dry rattle, crunchy squeeze
Until fading life escapes them
back to earth return the leaves.

Our relationship was like them
once fresh, young, the moment seize
With time, a strength and steadiness
for both comfort and to please
Now a final burst of colour
springing forth despite unease
But from all the pain and heartache
my soul shrivels up and leaves.

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[ this is my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 23 – One Word Title ]

Spiral Poem.

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[Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 13 – No Punctuation. Something I do a lot of, using line breaks to define my phrasing. So time to try something a little different and seeing as the poem’s theme is round and round I chose to spiral my words. There is a certain rhyming phrasing to this, but there are other meanings to phrases depending on where you pause! ]

and for those that have difficulty with the physical or mental contortion required to read this poem her is the raw text…

Round and round we go again been here before we’ll do it again are you aware of these circular patterns do you even care every time it happens I’m wounded over and over until emotions bled out nothing left to kill hollow and lifeless are all that remain but still fighting to make a new life from the shame

For Ever Feelings.

I’ve been hurt so much
By the “us” that was
That I can’t see or feel
How to be positive
About it all any more

I admit
to emotional and mental brokeness
to never being perfect
While you
so rarely ventured outside
of your inner hiddeness
Years of searching –
chasing the real you
All futile
I always saw it
just beneath the surface
but you held back
withdrew
and in doing so
pushed me away

For ever.

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Eclipsing the Sun. (5,6,4)

Searching for a way
To describe how I feel
Words lose their place

Falling through the cracks
He couldn’t work out how
Words lose their place

There was a meaning
Love existed until
Words lose their place

Free to roam, they lived
While eclipsing the sun
Words lose their place

Now in the darkness
Words lost forever more
We lose our place

.

[a partial solar eclipse this afternoon upon the setting Autumn sun]