I Wish I Was Special [A poem about suicide – trigger warning]. (Reblog)

So many beautiful people are struggling right now. This poem is a reminder of what we all need to know.

Pooky's Poems

I wish I was special,
She cried
As she caught sight of her reflection.
Tears streaked her face.

She clung onto her palm full of pills
As if for dear life,
Though it was death,
Not life,
She hoped they’d bring.
She did not want to die
But she could not face this life any more.

She had sat this way for hours,
Rocking,
Crying,
On the brink of the action
Which would take away the pain,
But without the motivation to do it.
Which made her feel
Ever more a failure.

A voice penetrated her bubble,
A hand gently took hers,
Brushing the damp, crumbled pills away,
And soothing her with tiny movements.
You are special.
Said the voice,
You just can’t see it now.
You won’t see it tomorrow,
Or the next day,
But one day you will.
I’ll teach you,
If you’ll let me try.

The world…

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A Detailed Request. (Reblog)

A close friend, poet and writer, who I first met here on WordPress, is struggling with a relapse of Anorexia.

She is a professional working in adolescent mental health, specialising in eating disorders (with an understanding from her own experiences) and these are the bravest words I have read in a very long time.

http://www.inourhands.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/to-the-friends-who-want-to-help-me-some-ideas/

I wanted to share them with you, not just as an example of what helps someone in that situation, but also as a beautiful example of understanding one’s own struggles, of how to ask for help, and of how much a struggle mental illness can be.

In these darkest of times, wishing you love and light, dear Pooky.

 

 

Almost There. (Reblog)

Familiar feelings in words from a brilliant poet friend. Sharing with you all because it helps to hear these sentiments from outside oneself.

Pooky's Poems

I live life in the fringes;
I live life almost there,
Not quite in the moment,
I don’t live my life with flair.

I do things rather quietly
And dark corners are my place,
I can’t join your conversation,
But I like to watch your face.

I like to feel I’m present
But not too much, you understand
I find easy things quite tricky
And my choice of words is bland.

I’m very nearly present
In my own life now these days,
And I hope with lots of effort,
I can move on from this phase.

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I Wrote This.

I wrote a note
well a letter really
by hand in cursive script a little curly
I had to practice
to remember how
simple printing is so common now
To email it
just wouldn’t do
a personal effort from me to you
Because this was special
and care was taken
to pass on the message of thanks unshaken
It didn’t take long
soon my pen was flowing
down the page with regular speed going
Wrote from my heart
shared how I feel
for all the encouragement and support so real
Then folded the paper
into a coloured envelope
important presentation in this time of electronic note

.

[my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 65 – Handwriting. tomorrow I will share the letter/note that this story/poem is about ]

[ digitally handwritten using an Adonit Jot stylus and the app INKredible, my analogue handwriting is even neater (with a little care) ]

Honey.

honey
sticky
runny
sweet

golden
healing
healthy
treat

bees
wax
pollinators
discrete

natural
tasty
flavours
eat

.

[ My reponse to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 64, the first word being what I received randomly. Also continuing my one-word-per-line technique from yesterday. ]

Wool.

Animal
Shorn
Fleece
Reborn
Washed
Dried
Combed
Dyed
Fibres
Spindle
Yarn
Nimble
Weave
Fabric
Pattern
Dramatic

.

[ dedicated to Joanna the textile artist with a local exhibition next month, and my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 63 ]

Secure Connection.

Hold my hand
and lead me away
I need to find
a brighter day
With you to guide
I will not hide
Strength in your touch
required so much
Let’s go and be
adventurous, free
Worry no more
forget before
Look forward alive
new goals and strive
to feel ok
we’ll find a way
I will be bold
with you to hold

.

[ my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 62 ]

A Change Of Scenery.

The perfect holiday
Is getting far away
Discovering the new
With locals, a few
A nature experience
Food and wine appearance
Give my mind a chance to roam
While I leave myself at home
[ Isle of Skye, UK ]

.

[ my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 61 ]

Happy Sad.

I can’t face being sad
And letting others know
It just feels wrong, because
I want the world to be a brighter place
Not dragged down
By feelings like mine.
That’s what I learnt growing up
From the reactions
and actions of others
Well, my interpretation anyway.

I can’t face being sad
And not letting others know
It just feels wrong, because
dishonesty is not what I want to be
And hiding away my feelings
Just hurts – just hurts.
Pretending to be happy
never brought me to that state
Rather, making an effort to participate
Brought the energy that bears happiness.

I can’t face being sad
But I’m slowly learning
That what I feel and think
Is not always an accurate reflection
of a given situation
And more difficultly,
The imperative of unlearning
all the old lessons
That were so uneducatedly given.

I can’t face being sad
So one day I chose
To be vulnerable
And open up about my feelings
To a friend
Who showed me acceptance,
understanding and support
And now I am both unlearning
and learning at the same time.

.

[ this was sparked by Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 57 – Write a poem which explores how it feels to put a brave face on things; and every word is truth ]

The Wrong Response Rejected.

I am not a failure
I am a success at staying alive
I am aware of problems and take steps to remedy them
I am doing the best I can each day
I am brave enough to share my feelings with others
I care about others and help them where possible
Sometimes I put other’s needs before my own
Even though I see recent steps backwards, overall I have come a long way
I am bold enough to think differently to others
I am improving my health
I stand up for what I believe
I am more than the pain,
I am living and thriving
I am experiencing and enjoying life
And despite everything,
because of everything,
I am alive.

.

[ my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 48 – The Wrong Response, with inspiration originally sparked by this blog post ]
[ image source google ]