Some days there is no trusting myself
Questioning the reasoning behind my behaviouring
Doubting the truth of my feelings of love
Thinking my relationship needs are met
Only after carefully crafted expression
Because someone in my past accused me of that
Even if that claimant was reacting to their own fears
And knowing that is not my intent
That I strive for truth and honesty
In all that I seek or do.
Yet I understand there is possibility
That my little cracked heart
Still has some healing to fully restore feeling
To a level of understanding and completeness
That not everyone manages to achieve
So I wonder if
Despite my best efforts
I do love as transparently as I hope
Do I reciprocate as honestly as I believe?
And the awareness of that questioning
The self digging and uncovering undertaken
Reassures me that I am doing the best I can
Within these moments certainty answers back
“You are doing well”.