Shining a Light for Myself.

Get this out. Exorcise the negativity. Writing is therapy for you.

Feeling tired is understandable after a string of late nights (early mornings). You will refresh with time outside and in touch with nature, fresh air and sunshine.

Your energy has been considerably focussed outwards, engaging with others. You also benefit from quiet self time to recharge.

Already, within minutes, this very process has shifted your focus. The positive reaffirming responses are exactly the inputs you needed.

I feel so tired, I could just sleep the rest of the day through. Yes, you would also benefit from additional motivation right now. Getting to work and being productive, moving projects forwards, that energises you. There is also bookwork to complete, to make life easier for the future. 

*Focus now on doing what will benefit you the most tomorrow.*

It’s okay to take time out for yourself. Yet remember that working also brings in the money to enjoy life, to do more that engages with others, to experience new joys and discoveries. Life is what matters the most, and that can truly only happen the most when you get up, go out, and interact with the world you have around you.

I will move forwards now, focussing on one step at a time. A single step forwards, then another, in the direction of my goals. Because I am responsible for my happiness, I am the source of my power and energy. Because I love people, I cherish connection and interaction – and the path to those times also goes through personal effort, work, focussing on more mundane tasks. I will push forwards today, one step at a time, each moment another positive move no matter how small or large.

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Tuesday Morning’s Thoughts.

Feeling strong emotions is exhausting for me. Or is it that I am exhausted when I start feeling strong emotions? I was going to use the adjective negative for my emotions, but really they are not necessarily so. Just my interpretation of the situation around feeling them is negative. So much is coming up, coming out, as I do this therapy homework. Today I suspect sometime (>20) years ago I started suppressing my strong feelings because I couldn’t deal with them or they were too painful.

Being critical of myself for feeling sad, letting that take me over, for being emotional exhausted and feeling unable to cope with it all. Rebut: I am coping with help from close people in my life. I am learning (something) through all this. I am surviving and becoming stronger, bolder, more caring in a less selfish way, because this is the way I am being treated by other(s). Even managing this rebut is an achievement to feel good about.

In some ways I cling to feeling miserable because despite the anguish, it affords me opportunity to connect with others in dealing with it. Therein lies the attraction that I hesitate to lose.

How do you feel about strong emotions?

How do you think I am going with this?

What coping advise can you provide?

It May Be A Plan.

What does it all mean Doctor?
This assessment and awareness
of the tiny details of my day
When there are larger issues
great big pressure-on-my-brain matters
to resolve

Maybe,
the enormity
of these difficulties
is beyond me
to deal with presently

And chipping away
at these little aspects of self
Making small inroads of progress
may eventually
undermine and shift
The Great Wall of emotion
and mountains of complexity
That overpower this simple soul

Is that what it’s all about?
It’s not sneaky at all
Just a gentle way
of making progress
of seeing more clearly
Through my current turmoil

 

(3 Sept 2014)