Writing Frustration.

Trying to write
How I feel
Get it out
Consistently real

Desiring neatness
Of form

Or at least
A pattern of words
Message enhancing
Creative flow

But each line
Takes me further away
From a pleasing origin
Towards the unknown
Scattered
Everywhereness
Of fragmented
Poetic leftovers

Or was it
A mixed bag
Of seeds
Requiring germination?

Trying To Make Sense Of It All.

Friends around me
Can only momentarily distract
the loneliness
I feel
within your limited affections.
When you hold back
uneasy in your own mind
Uncomfortable
For reasons I can’t fathom
and you forget
the importance of expressing.

Your touch
is just that
Conveys no emotion
no depth
no excitement
Nothing that matters
To me

Reaching out
into the nothingness I feel
Grasping desperately
for solidity
Will my grounding disappear
And I fall away
from all that I know
Even though
there are times
I want it to be so

to

Escape from pain
Relationship drain
Growing disdain
Won’t refrain
From trying again

Retrain brain
Happiness reclaim
Again and again

Or else,
go insane
World reframe
Into my domain
Everything contain
Control, detain.
My
Walled-in
Fortress
of solitude