Remembering Magic.

I remember good times a lifetime ago. (Painful memories are there too, but I now see the importance of connecting positives within me.

I remember first loves, first touch, first kiss. Car sliding off-the-road down-the-embankment adventures with friends and knee-high-mud hikes through remote wilderness. The quizzical feel of unrequited love. The laughing easy fun of real friends around me, even though the new experience was confusing. The joyous sound & feeling of singing familiar songs. A-Capella blues improvisation on the rocks near the seashore. Feeling the chant of ancient community harmonies. Up all night talking, sitting on the side of a hill, then watching sunrise dawn on a new year. So many connecting in deep conversation moments. Special friends who may have loved you.

I know you. We shared life together. Then we never saw each other again. 

I know you. The first time we met was a meeting of old soulmates. I know you. Our time grew over years. Now we share warmth, inspiration, crazy fun and laughter. I know you. A few years of friendship remains a glow within my heart, whether or not we see each other again. I know you. We have never shared the same physical space, but our connection is as real as the hugs we will give when we finally do. I know you. We have walked together, talked together. Cried, lied, and sat together. 

And now, I have known you your whole life. Every day is a new journey and one day, this too, I will remember. 

[ Inspired by the magical words of @urbansirenllc ]

Journey. 4

It’s time to tell the truth
To myself
I’ve been lying for so long
Making up excuses
Believing hurtful words.
It’s time to hear the truth
Deep within my soul
That others have echoed
That will make me whole.
I am enough
I am already all that I need
Love maintains the fire in my core
Love surrounds me
Friends surround me with their love
as they appreciate the person I am.
There is no emptiness here
Only forgetfulness
Just remember
Love.

(20 July 2016)

Cutting And Growing.

[my photo: Remnants of Summer grapes lingered into Winter.]

Pruning the grapevines, through sunset, into dark. Finishing because there’s no more light to distinguish the dark grey vine bark from the shadows.

It all connects me back to my dad. The way he made use of that time of the day.

Pruning for fruit growth next year. Pruning for shape, for future direction.

Working on something right now, that you will only see the desired results for in six months’ time, or longer.

Yes there is a result right now. Clearing off the wood that has gone to sleep. Neatening the plant back to it’s strongest branches.

But it’s really all about that planning ahead. Where do you want it to be, next year, the year after that? Shaping with a future direction in mind. Not a specific goal so much as, assisting it into a better framework of future.

And isn’t that what we want with our own life? Making little adjustments now, a trim here, leave that little growth there to strengthen and bloom. I like to think that is what I only ever try to do with myself.

Yet in total honesty, mistakes are made. We cut off too much over here, we let that dead wood linger over there, we become “straggly” and misshapen. And then it takes some hard decisions, some drastic changes, to put ourselves back on the track that we really want.

Hey, that’s okay.

We all need to learn how best to care for ourselves.

And at some point, many of us will be very happy with what we see has, and continues to, grow.

But it is not “All or Nothing”. There is space to be happy with the growth over here, while still working out how best to deal with that branch over there.

Seasons come and go.

They always have and will continue to do so, for everyone. What remains important is this living thing that you look after.

Your core, what and who you choose to be.

===

Need some pruning advice, or have a thought to contribute? Leave a few words below.

Turning Away.

Of Love and Loss


It feels like
I gave you the best years of my life
Loved you with everything I had
And received so little back
Only a faint echo of my expression
It feels like
Now that I’m dying inside
And my health is dragged down
With my withering spirit
You step up, finally blossoming
And it feels like
I can’t face the world
Faking my face to you
Avoiding those who love me
Because I don’t want any of this
And it feels like
I can hold myself up
But facing the rest of the world
Is too much, too hard
Yet I don’t want to crawl into
-that dark hole with the slippery sides
Where I hide away
-and lose myself in regret.

View original post