Dejected Beingness.

There is a suggestion
in my mind
that today I need contact

Need to feel connection
with other humans
to feel human

To feel
something
that contains life

Not that I feel empty,
I feel nothing

Actually, I feel so much
but it’s all negative
painful, and destructive

Failing to function today
Failing myself and others
When I cannot move,
Cannot talk,
Cannot bring concentration
together enough to
answer a simple question

My brain fails me
I fail at life
And isolation laughs at me
As heavy burden
crushes all that I am

What is left
seeks any relief
But in the impossibility
of that realisation
Dread drags me down

Saying that
“I don’t want to live”
“I am nothing but a burden”
Only scratches the surface
Of blackness engulfing me today

Anger has the solidity
of invisible water vapour
Tears are meaningless leaks
A frozen solid heart
both chills me, and burns me

Despair
My only companion.

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Rejection Pain.

Most days I feel pain, from complete disdain
of my time with her.
I feel rejection, when we miss connection
in our life together.
I want to escape, but she’ll fix it with tape
patch us back together.
But the seal doesn’t last, over all that’s past
wounds wide reopen.
Oh to let it go, create energy flow
free of all the hurt.
Set me free, oh please release me
let me be my true self.

(14 November 2014)

About To Pop.

Sexual frustration
Builds so quickly
And
Tired nights and busy days
Inhibit its release
But never its potency.
Wanting you keeps me alive
Feeling rejected kills me.
Trying to communicate this
drains my energy

.
My response to: “The urge of the body; is the process of the mind – constantly evolving.” ChattyOwl.
Check out her poetry as well.