This Equation Of Me.

Confident, enough
in myself
with friends I trust
and strangers –
it’s believing
that I contain
something positive to contribute.

To feel at ease
with this me, with
what’s inside
is another matter altogether.
The value of myself, my
comfortableness and
my self-worth, are
other elements
of
the total me,
the
sum
of all the parts.

Before I doubted
myself –
I trusted
this, whole, me.
It was simple
and easy
Until,
I started believing
criticism from others.
It became emotional
and messy.
Not feeling accepted,
not feeling respected,
by others, and
No-one else was there
to put me straight.

It’s taking quite some time
to turn around
ways of thinking
ways of feeling, and
ways of
imagining
me
To understand
just where I am, and
to realise where I was
before.

The power you hold
in the
Creativity
of your mind
to Believe in you
and, to
Create you,
This is magical.

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Pretence. (reblog)

This really caught my thoughts, I know these words-as-feelings too. So much communicated, so clearly, with so few words.

Poems and Petals

Is my smile too wide
Is my laugh too loud
Am I too happy?

If I smile and wave
And I call your name
Will I reveal myself?

If I smile and blush
And speak out loud
Will my feelings show?

Should I just be still
Or if I look your way
Will it be a stare?

Am I too happy?

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Finding happiness.

Through all the difficulties
health nightmares
relationship struggles
I see a word

Happiness

Many times before
has it jumped up in front of me
glared at me
and dared me to be
So many ways to get there
have I read and heard

And now, just maybe
after all these years
It is creeping up on me
When I least expected to experience it
As my old life drops away
and a simpler me cries out

There is finally some space for it
Etched into my being
By the pain that I thought
was driving it away

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