All Your Own Fault.

Not to be harsh
Or judgemental
But you chose this

All your decisions
Large and small
Leading up to now

Laid the path
Ultimately culminating
In this moment

You could say
Some stupid
Bad decisions

You could say
No choice
But always you

Always your choice
Unconsciously
Or determinedly

So here you are
Like it or not
This is now

Deal with it
Step forwards
Or sideways

Breathe deeply
Give yourself space
Find your way

And choose
To the best of your knowledge
For the better

Whatever it takes
Surviving now
Or thriving onwards

Though it feels
Unlikely –
You are in control.

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Chains Fallen Away

Emotional reset
Start again
Blank slate
Find my way
Make it into
– what I desire
Needed this
Wanted this
– all year
Now it’s here
Free to be
The real me

No more reacting
No more crushing
– weight of feelings
Every moment
– choose my path
Positive choices
Positive destinations
Each moment
Comfortable
Fulfilling
Valuable

How this
came to be
Came to me
Know not I
Just thankful
Answered prayers
and a gift
of freedom

~=~

[This week has turned into a wholly unexpected, but gratefully accepted, change. I don’t know what else to say, other than, to anyone who gave me their thoughts or prayers, Thankyou!]

the part where you lost control

Her words hit me like a prophecy,
i think i am ready to lose control.
give up all my struggling,
find a way out of the hole
that I created, digging down,
and building walls that surround
me

let go, release, no more holding on
to safety,
don’t fear
the pain,
those fires will not hurt you,
only strengthen
and change
by burning off the layers
that weighed you down

She said “you are free”
“as soon as you choose to be”

-=-

[this is my response to Luca’s challenge at:]
http://thegreatpower.wordpress.com/2013/10/26/lovely-people-there-is-a-certain-part-of-your-story-i-need-to-hear-the-part-where-you-lost-control/

How it was

Those Saturday nights where the whole world is up or out doing something and it’s all you can do to not completely lose it, when you’d cry yourself to sleep except that it feels like the tears have also left you alone.

The darkness that threatens to take over, a certain craziness that seems perfectly normal at the time.

Every day you are changing, in such small ways that you won’t notice it now.  But it all adds up over time.  The smallest realisation or thought today, will mean something more to you, one day.

The ups and the downs are all the journey you are on.  Even though you wouldn’t choose this for yourself, you are moving somewhere better, one thought at a time.

My response to the post Textbook Living. by APARKS330