The message sent to me
“You already possess
to become great.”
Yes indeed. Right now, right here, just as I am.
Then followed the thoughts of darkness.
And I saw that all is in balance. It needs to be.
The darkness is simply another energy that contrasts the light. It can be used in different ways. It must be understood differently.
And I see that harnessing and managing the darkness has been difficult for me in the past because I didn’t have the skill-set or the understanding.
These are tools and techniques that can be learnt – if we are brave enough to discuss them openly.
Difficulties arise within the pain that typically accompanies the darkness. The pain of unmet life expectations, or the pain of confusion and perceived loneliness. These brief memories spring forth for me right now. And there is no pain within these memories, within this moment. For my understanding of life, and of myself, lets gentle awareness be in charge.
This entire reveal comes with a quiet calm, of knowing that the choice is mine every step of the way. That every thought, action, every motivation and decision, can propel me forwards – into the light, and greatness.
You said I needed to make up my mind
When I make it up every day
But following through with those decisions is where I fall down.
I want some*thing*
But I also want to help others enjoy life
And some*times* I let that over-ride my own feelings.
Did you ever consider my feelings?
Did we ever talk about how I really felt underneath the surface?
We all want to be happy
So how do we blend our own happiness with those around us?
How do we all sit together in peace, and love,
feeling connected and supportive of each other?
Perhaps the challenge is overcoming our own pride
Perhaps when we start seeing others as equally important
and equally worthy of our consideration and energy
Perhaps then we will all feel it –
The collective human energy that we desire
An equal focus on ourselves and others
An equal tolerance for ourselves as for others
This works for me, and,
just maybe it is what we all needed to hear.
[ 15 August 2017 ]
With a little encouragement from A I have decided to dive into Ten Things of Thankful.
- I am thankful for Deborah responding to my Poetry picture shared on FB (the one about hidden pain) and letting me know she connected with it and offering a listening ear.
- Thankful for Lisa for letting me share a brunch order with her (of GF toast, poached eggs, bacon, avocado) so that I would know she had some proper food today and not just coffees.
- Thankful for my sister-in-law Julia texting through a picture of her daughter enjoying the birthday present she received today, in my absence. The card had my name on it as well, even though I had precious little involvement in the present acquisition.
- Thankful for seeing our pet rabbit Mr.Poppy asleep on his side in the DBP (dead bunny position) for much of this warm Sunday afternoon. An indication of his comfort and relaxed state, despite his ageing body (he is officially a Senior rabbit) and progressing arthritis. And also thankful for him letting me stroke his sleepy head and remain relaxed and snoozing on two separate occasions.
- Thankful for friends like Abbie and Lisa that encourage me to focus on the positives and partake in such Adventures as this TToT writing challenge. I’m halfway there and fourteen minutes has passed, so I’m on track for a relatively quick write-up today 😀
- I am thankful for Lisa meeting me for a coffee and chat on this Sunday-that-I-needed-for-myself. Despite her own struggles with depression coinciding with mine this week. I am thankful particularly that through her sharing and words reminding me how important a person I am, reminding me how much I am cared for, reminding me how the screwed-up mental illness chemistry just fooks with one’s perception of reality.
- Is that two there? If I have trouble later on, I can break that last one down into two, right? So this has to be a proper one, a big one, my brain says. A challenging one. A God-its-so-hard-to-admit-to-myself-or-anyone-else one. Thinks… lets the pressure go, keep the intuition on hand… I am thankful that my wife loves me. Still. After everything we’ve been through. After at least ten years of me being subtly difficult to live with, and then more recently probably blatantly difficult to live with. She still makes an effort to let me know she cares, even when I am blind to it. I am thankful for her, for this. Life would perhaps be so much shittier if not for this, or perhaps life would be different, I don’t really know. Know one really knows, do they?!
- I am thankful for Lisa sharing her own relationship dramas with me. Just her knowing smile at me said enough, said so much. But I asked for elaborations anyway, because who can’t resist a good story!
- I am thankful for technology that lets me watch a movie at home, on decent sized screen, streamed from goodness-knows-where via a DVD player with a dedicated Netflix button on the remote. Cheers to all you clever geeks that design such user friendly pieces of tech that let me escape into a story, laugh, hope and then wonder where my afternoon went!
- Oh, hey there! This would be the last one. So for today, finally, I am thankful for quiet, cheap-to-operate, whole-house ducted evaporative cooling that lets me survive the expected 38C (100F) in this hot-and-dry-place in this mostly-hot-and-dry-country sitting in the southern hemisphere all on its own between the great South Pacific and Indian Oceans.
So there you have it 38 minutes and some loose change on the clock. I just need to post and link it into WordPress now, and plan how I might do this again next weekend. You see it’s been weeks since I last posted to WP and there is a bunch of poetry waiting to go up. So I’m hoping this will get my writing momentum going again.
What are you thankful for today?
This challenge is from Rarasaur, SKIP challenge. It took a little time to get into the part of my brain that was holding these thoughts, but it was well worth the effort. Have a go yourself and share here if you do.
What reminds you of who you truly are? Maybe you have a response to anything on my list?
2. Playing piano
3. Riding a bicycle
4. Quietness in the warm sunshine
5. Swinging in the sunshine
6. Fixing something
7. Music that sends tingles down my spine
8. Golden North Giant Twins
9. Walking through wooded nature
10. The beach during summer
11. Playing with children
12. Loose leaf white tea
13. Christmas Lunch with Cousins, Aunties, & Uncles
14. Receiving a message from a friend
15. Remembering my Dad
16. Movie nights at home
17. Magpies warbling in the early morning
I am not broken
I am alive
Because I am here
Been through so much
And I am here
in this moment
aware of myself
all that was
and all that is
I will step forwards
Because I know
it doesn’t end here
My life goes on
to bigger and better
That’s just how
it’s always been
This day is
just like others
that I made it through
that I grew through
I am life
(14 April 2015)
[ written in response to yesterday’s post First Awareness. ]
You are not alone.
You are never alone.
Yet I feel that way
I put up walls
Meant to protect me
Instead they block the energies
Of others reaching me
Think about this
I am not sabotaging myself
I am seeking safety from harm
Yet the harm I perceive
Is outdated, antiquated
There is risk in loving
And being loved
But the rewards are much greater
Embrace the risk
Risk is good
Let the risk create vigour
Break through the barriers
And embrace others without fear
Grab hold of love, comfort, companionship
Accept them into your being
Receive affection, friendship
You are not alone.
I challenge you
Push you through the boundaries
you unknowingly set up around yourself
Uncomfortableness follows me
feeds on you at times
feasts on me
I push the boundaries
to discover, to learn,
to see what is underneath all those layers
I see clearly around me
Despite the self-enveloping cloud
of questions and dislike
(14 Sept 2014)
Dear teenage me
Take it easy
Life can get heavy
But it’s never as scary
as you think
What others think
By feeling the fear
and doing it anyway
Time spent with friends
make the best memories
so prioritise your life
around those that matter
Though you feel small
you will stand tall
with pride one day
for doing it your way
Find your way
find what you want to do
by trying everything
that catches your attention
Your attention focus matters
Keep it on the positive
and strengthen your optimism
Creativity and optimism
are more important than realism
But all three
work together synchronistically
So listen to me
for a quarter century
from now, you will be
[my response to the first daily poetry prompt by Pooky “Dear Me…”. Now that NaPoWriMo is over feel free to follow and join in as often as you like.]
I just listened to a great Ted talk during my lunch break and it is worthy of sharing with you all:
Here is the talk by Kelly, recommended viewing:
Here is a blog summary version:
And I will share with you my key points, consider these and make adjustments to your own beliefs:
Stress may only be bad for you, if you believe that to be the case.
See stress as your body rising to the challenge and equipping you to cope.
Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort.
(Go after what ever it is that creates meaning in your life, and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows.)
[To commemorate 1 year of blogging, and because my brain needs a rest, This next week I will be reblogging some of my favourite pieces with a little explanation added.]
I don’t remember exact circumstances surrounding the creation of this piece. Obviously I was very down and I suspect there had been an unhappy talk with my partner that was not resolved satisfactorily. Writing this I was really concentrating on narrowing my focus right down on my thoughts to find the single word description for what each line was to say (and at the same time creating a focus for my emotional energy). 15 lines, 15 words. My ultimate pared down poetry. So I am very proud of this because I had never written a single word per line piece before. Have you?
The Challenge: Write a poem, as long or short as you like, on any topic or theme. Just have a go! I really would like to see what others can come up with! Each line is to contain a single word phrase. Subsequent lines may not form or be part of a normal phrase or sentence. The intent is to distill each line of your poem down to a single word. The title may contain more than a single word. Please post a link to your post in the comments here. I will add your poems below.