There is a suggestion
in my mind
that today I need contact
Need to feel connection
with other humans
to feel human
To feel
something
that contains life
Not that I feel empty,
I feel nothing
Actually, I feel so much
but it’s all negative
painful, and destructive
Failing to function today
Failing myself and others
When I cannot move,
Cannot talk,
Cannot bring concentration
together enough to
answer a simple question
My brain fails me
I fail at life
And isolation laughs at me
As heavy burden
crushes all that I am
What is left
seeks any relief
But in the impossibility
of that realisation
Dread drags me down
Saying that
“I don’t want to live”
“I am nothing but a burden”
Only scratches the surface
Of blackness engulfing me today
Anger has the solidity
of invisible water vapour
Tears are meaningless leaks
A frozen solid heart
both chills me, and burns me
Despair
My only companion.
Moved me a lot.
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*hugs* I hope you feel better. May I prescribe a kitty (or a series of cat vdeos) and a mug of cocoa? 🙂
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