Life in Stages.

I never understood others
Living in my own world
Feeling like an alien
Loving what I loved
Liking who I liked
So much seemed
A one-way interaction

Growing older became
Searching for someone,
For something, to fill a void
To share myself with
And it never ended up that way
I peer back for answers
Find the mistakes I made
Work out what went wrong,

But its a pointless search
There is no way to change
What was
A decision made
With my best understanding
Just as now, I must again
Make decisions based on
My current knowledge

Fearing mistakes
Fearing decisions
Leads to a choice of stasis
But I need change
If not outside, then
Inside of me
And once again
I feel like an alien
Surrounded by foreign concepts
Languages and rules

If I can just let myself
Live the life I need
Find what I need
Testing and discovery
Create a thriving environment
To grow this strange plant
Before death from neglect
Prevent this seed from shriveling

I need Sun, Water, Nutrients
But the Sun burns
Watery tears sting, instead of refreshing
My small, thin roots, struggle to absorb
All that I need
I need that all.
Forgotten form of my flower
Colour and scent unfamiliar
Alien to myself
Longing for my home in the stars
A chance to shine one more time


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