Alone in Pain.

No one understands me
No one gets what I’m trying to communicate during a struggle day
It frustrates and angers me
Pushes me to feel more alone than before

And why would they?
No one has the same experiences as or thinks like me
And I don’t know what else is going on in their head at this time
If they don’t respond appropriately to what I am communicating
Then maybe I haven’t articulated myself as well as I think

It’s easy to use broad statements
“I want to end it all”
“I can’t bear this pain any longer”
It’s much harder to find the mediated, sensible thoughts
That still convey what is happening within me
That have the most chance of others understanding
That convey the depth and breadth of my struggle

.

[ while I was writing this I came across the words below from last year, which directly connected with the now ]

Some days I want nothing more
than to be
understood

To know I’m not alone
in my pain

(30 June 2014)

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5 thoughts on “Alone in Pain.

  1. There are people who read your words and can feel the pain and the struggle. There are people who wish they could do more than just press “like” when you are reaching out with so much emotion. There are people who understand. Don’t ever doubt this…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou so much for the words of support and understanding, they are the only positive line holding me up today.
      I felt so terrible this morning that I was contemplating self harm. Something that has never occurred to me before, despite all I’ve been through over the years.
      Where to from here, now I ask myself? I will keep reaching out my hand for friends to help me as I need. And hope that something works out eventually.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Where do you go from here? The next day. Then the next. Then the next….And in time the hours won’t seem like years and the days won’t feel like eternity. Don’t give into the negative thoughts. Fight them. Fight them with your beautiful words. Fight them…

        Liked by 1 person

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