Help.

I want to feel all that is inside me
and let it go
I want to be – all that I am
and ignore the opinions of others
I want to find my way forward
and leave the past behind

I want to work out
whether to embrace all the emotions
or let them go and walk away
I want to work out
when I can’t do all of the above
am I failing
or just being who I am in this moment?

Why do I want to change?
Why do i want anything to be different?
I think it hurts and damages me
But, does it?
Yes I have been damaged
By my worries about it all
By my mental reaction to it all
And my desire for something different

Desire
Difference
What do these two words mean, to me?
Do they destroy my life?
Do they push me forwards?
Do they chain me down?

Ego, pride, beliefs
I wish I had some answers to all this
Any answers would do
Please help me see what I need to see
Self blindness is my mortality

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3 thoughts on “Help.

  1. I wish I had some answers to all this

    And I wish I had some words for some of the answers I think I’ve found, but I suspect there are none. Or rather the words are not only empty symbols but they are actually part of the problem.

    About the only thing I can suggest today is that if you want to give up your past you also need to give up your future. Your aspirations are just a manifestation of what you think you are and that is entirely rooted in your past.

    Right now is all there is. It’s the only thing we can ever know. But mostly we don’t know it at all because we’ve obscured it with what we think we are and what we think we should be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hear insight and self-awareness. I hear self-doubt and courage. I hear insecurity and conviction. I hear passion and sadness. I hear growth that manifests from pain. What I do not hear is self blindness. I hear clarity obscured by life’s dense fog.

    Liked by 1 person

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