Too Many Contradictions.

She knows how to look after me when I’m unwell
But doesn’t know how to love me when I have energy
She wants me to love her as she is
Yet her actions belittle and don’t support me
She says she will change
and is uncomfortable with any suggestion of change
She likes to talk with me
But shies away from the depth of conversation I need
She wants to have new experiences
But balks at anything that may contain uncomfortableness for her
She wants to know what I like
But rarely presents any understanding of what I tell her
She wants me to love her gently
But my passion is either too strong for her,
or too depleted from lack of her response
She lets me go free
But then unexpectedly pulls me back
My heart is torn and twisted and turned around
so much that I don’t know how to love her anymore

(3-4 April 2015)

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