Having days for clear thought
even if they are “sleepy on the couch days”
has been good for me.
“Not worrying about everything but just being”
lets my unconscious mind unravel what is important to me
And some of that has become clear to me today.
My relationship with her does not matter
it is not something to expend my energy thinking or worrying about
It is not something that can be fixed or broken with a simple action
It is not something I am in a position to make decisions about
I am already on a journey of discovering myself
Small decisions made in the past already set this in motion
In the past year alone I have learnt a lot about who I am and what I want
I just needed to be clear-headed enough to see the progress.
I need to find more about what matters to me
and what exactly it is that I want.
I live for connection with others
I long for expressions of love
I am learning how to connect with and show love for myself.
These principles are core to my life.
It’s a start.
This is me.
(2 February 2015)