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2015.

A new year
a glance back
move forwards
don’t backtrack

I don’t feel I have any wise words. I just have my story. Which thankfully, seems to be worthwhile, as is communicated to me on occasions. My story is made up of pieces from here and there, whatever catches my attention, and whatever my heart needs to say. Perhaps its my awareness, honesty, and fearlessness that makes it all come together.

What a great way to see the new year in. Around to a friend’s house mid afternoon. Catching up with a good group of more and less familiar faces. Fun and games, board games, card games. Carcassonne, That’s My Fish, Get Bit, Parade, and many games of Pairs. An Aussie BBQ dinner, everyone bringing food to share. Lots of desserts including Pavlova (a must), home-made apricot ice-cream and flaming brandy pudding. Serenaded by Scottish bagpipe tunes (gosh that instrument is loud) and tasty local wines to enjoy it all with.

So many laughs playing games, a great way to see out the old year and to start the new. So much has happened this year for me, much of it very negative. Mostly the physical & mental health issues. Struggling at work through grief, anxiety and depression. Relationships.

But there has been perhaps more positives this past year than ever before. Being supported so well by friends, family, and partner. Even those that don’t understand much have still been shining beacons of brightness through the dark times. Receiving some great and ongoing mental health support through a local clinic, with a therapist that I “clicked” with almost immediately. Invaluable guidance from online friends. A couple very special friends providing wonderful guidance and reminders to keep me on track. I am forever grateful for their assistance.

Other highlights included a chance to fly to the UK and visit my sister for 2 weeks, including a five day tour of some amazing Scottish countryside. Meeting a writing friend in London. Meeting a writing friend in Melbourne. Meeting a writing friend locally. Opportunities to explore my writing in different ways.

All slowly rediscovering more of myself. Learning more patience and self-acceptance…

(required sleep at 2:45am intervenes here, as my head bobs sideways and eyes shut of their own volition)

…Learning to lean on others and trust that the support I need is there when I need it. Learning to recognise the love that is there for me. Learning to recognise the connection that I crave which is there if I let it be.

So to all my friends – whether we’ve shared words or chatted electronically, caught up face to face, hugged closely or virtually, whether you are on another continent, interstate, in my city, or just a bicycle ride away – I thank you all for being in my life in that way, I do think of every one of you regularly (yes *you*).

May we all take strength from our connectedness, may we all feel the warmth of our guiding light, may we all be full of compassion and love for ourselves as well as each other.

May we all welcome this new year with hope, acceptance and courage.

My love to you all.

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