Darkness Talking To Me.

Today just got beyond my ability to manage. I feel so low and so dark and pushing that all aside seems the only way to get by right now – as much as I hate the consequences of doing so.

So much of my life has been upset, uncomfortable, distressed, distraught, depressed, alone… When these feelings jump up again it knocks me down horribly. It scares me to be in this space again. I loathe it so much and I’d do anything to not be there/here.

Feeling like a failure for not managing to embrace it all, as came to me on the weekend [previous post].

A close friend sent me these words tonight:
20141201-222453.jpg

And the I spotted these words as I flicked past Tumbler:
20141201-224249.jpg

Words reach out to me, and The Darkness denies every word of support I hear. I question it in order to understand what is going on, but it maintains silence to my investigation.

Will I survive tonight, Will I survive whatever tomorrow brings? I suspect I will, just as I have before many times. Yet unsettling doubt stems from the growing pain of experiencing this over and over again. And the desire to escape it all, to…
just
stop
hurting
…is so very strong.

Advertisements

One thought on “Darkness Talking To Me.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s