Seeing Myself.

Take a step back
And I see the struggle
The pain
Inner turmoil
Over and over again

The hurt saddens me
Wanting to support
Comfort, encourage
But how?

It feels like
I never received any of that
So never learnt how

But to support received
I am blinded by the darkness
And to comfort given
I don’t feel through the numbness
And the encouragement
Is deflected by negativity

Sadness is king of this domain
Despite my jester interruptions

(11 Sept 2014)


3 thoughts on “Seeing Myself.

  1. This was a beautiful poem!

    You’re writing that

    It feels like
    I never received any of that ( comfort, encourage)
    So never learnt how

    The good new is that you’re already comforting others by exposing youself here at wordpress sharing your poem. You encouraged me and others in your comments. Evenif you never recieved or learned it from others, you already got the skill inside of you. That is the good part. See? because then you also can heal and become happy and strong again – you have it in there. Sometimes it hidden behind heavy furnitures, but it’s there. Don’t give up.

    I can relate to this “never learnt how” ..In the environment I grew up in..I knever learnt how to put bounderies around my self or to protect me, I didn’t learn how a normal healthy love realtionship is between people. So it’s been the trial and error way for me. And I think it’s first after this summer I’m starting to get an idea what I really shall expect from a relationship and not settle for less.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadness doesnt always mean bad. It doesnt always mean devastation. Sometimes sadness is a perfect catalyst for creativity.To shout out loud and make a change.
    You write beautifully, making people stop and think. Thank you for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your own beautiful words Chatty. I have since realised the sadness is a new emotion for me to feel regularly, repeatedly. Maybe it is grief from my father’s death. Maybe it is grief from all that I have felt over the years. Maybe it is all this and more. I accept it. There are certainly many creative catalysts and I am working with them all.


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