Happy Sad.

I can’t face being sad
And letting others know
It just feels wrong, because
I want the world to be a brighter place
Not dragged down
By feelings like mine.
That’s what I learnt growing up
From the reactions
and actions of others
Well, my interpretation anyway.

I can’t face being sad
And not letting others know
It just feels wrong, because
dishonesty is not what I want to be
And hiding away my feelings
Just hurts – just hurts.
Pretending to be happy
never brought me to that state
Rather, making an effort to participate
Brought the energy that bears happiness.

I can’t face being sad
But I’m slowly learning
That what I feel and think
Is not always an accurate reflection
of a given situation
And more difficultly,
The imperative of unlearning
all the old lessons
That were so uneducatedly given.

I can’t face being sad
So one day I chose
To be vulnerable
And open up about my feelings
To a friend
Who showed me acceptance,
understanding and support
And now I am both unlearning
and learning at the same time.

.

[ this was sparked by Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 57 – Write a poem which explores how it feels to put a brave face on things; and every word is truth ]