I still feel lost
made a mistake at the beginning of this life
during a critical time
that forever changed me
often it feels as if the struggle has never ended
that the happy times are forever tainted
I still feel lost
there’s a parallel life just out of reach
the one where I am much happier
I can feel it so close
it’s translucent temporal barrier
taunts me
I still feel lost
having strayed even further from myself
trapped in darkness
can’t see, only feel
seeking the light of connection and contact
longing for realness
42 Days Younger than Kylie 
Over there in that parallel life, you would not be you though.
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A good point to consider, with pros and cons either way. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
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I am sending much happiness your way & hoping that a rainbow will soon peek through the clouds. 🙂
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Thankyou Ashley, always so kind, always great to hear from you. I will try to let you know when those wishes get through to me, and perhaps a rainbow will be there too.
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A powerful, authentic poem. Your words are full of the ‘realness’ you long for. It takes courage to share such deep truths.
Tricia x
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Thanks for reading Tricia, and perceiving the core of this piece. Often it feels that this uses up all the courage I have left.
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can you imagine the parallel life? What does it look like?
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A great prompt Pooky, thankyou for asking and pushing my thoughts onto a different tack. It encouraged some good thinking and writing this morning, which I will share tonight.
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Oooh intriguing, I’ll pootle over for a quick look in a moment. x
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This is such a powerful poem and I can relate to it so very much. It is very real. Thank you for the courage to share this kind of poem.
I dont know what’s happening toWP but I am following your blog and yet I hardly get any notification of your new posts. I have no idea how to rectify this. I just decided today to have a look to see if you’ve posted and Ive missed loads!
Christine x
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Yes Christine I’m having the same problem missing posts. I just have to slowly work through my friends and visit their sites. Someone suggested an un-follow then re-follow again may fix that issue.
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I will try the un-follow, follow and see how it goes. Thanks!
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Thanks for your support. I was very hesitant initially to share these feelings, so am grateful for your support (and others too).
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But surely there’s an infinity of parallel lives down that road not taken. There must be just as many that are worse as there are that are better. So really you’re a kind of average of all possible yous. That’s gotta be as real as it gets, right?
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There are indeed an infinity of possibilities. I suppose I’m looking for the path that feels right within me, as opposed to the “oops” path of endless tripping stones.
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I have experienced that losing yourself is the best way to find what life really wants to tell, and in the process find ourselves.
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I long to really lose myself, and in that journey find myself again. At the moment I just feel lost, while clinging to what is familiar, maybe holding on for fear of having nothing. So I am neither free nor secure. I am binding myself to the past while trying to break away. Thankyou for your inspiring comment and especially for taking the time to discover and read this piece
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Please don’t thank me…pleasure was all mine. You have given me food for thought. Past is past…it’s only significance is the learning it gives us in the form of experience, which could be as detached from our future as we allow it to be. And when fear drives life, all leads to abyss because it is more like fear breeds fear. Detachment from expectation is our only hope of our salvation. Please forgive me if I have said more than I should.
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I will always express thanks when I have received a gift, whether the giving was intentional or not. I thrive on comment and discussion so be free and comfortably bold with your words around here. Partly my thanks was for you finding writing which is 3 months old, when many only have the time to read the last few week’s output. I will thankfully respond to any comment on my writing, as revisiting it after time often brings new concepts to light.
Fear does indeed feed on itself and grow so the path must be found around or away from it. I have encountered Detachment from expectation previously this year and hearing it again brings to mind how relevant this may be to me. I seem to expect so much – of life, of myself, of others. I suspect it comes from the perfectionist traits in me. But to detach from all this – I see the concept of freedom, but don’t know how to reach this place in myself.
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