Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Today in bed
you said
you were unsure
and afraid
of what I might do.
A statement I hear
repeatadly from you
at such times,
still,
after ten years.
I have never
ever
hurt you,
or raised a hand
against you.
So understand
my confusion
and hurt
on hearing this today.

What else can I do?
than support you
and compliment you
daily
as I do.
At times,
I give my all,
yet it stays
with you
perhaps
no more than a day.

Yet you question
why I suggested
in the smallest of ways
that perhaps
with you
something needs to change?

Is love a kind of stubborness?
A continuation
without complaint
even in the face of defeat?
Or is it a harsh commander
forcing change
for the better
where it’s needed
but not wanted?

And if you read this
you would say,
I’m complaining
and you don’t like that.
But I say,
I’m just expressing
my thoughts
and feelings

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4 thoughts on “Wednesday, June 30, 2004

  1. I’m guessing that this poem written nearly ten years ago, is here today because actually nothing has changed?

    I’m sorry, this sounds really complicated Peter.

    Are you okay? x

    Like

    • I was surprised to find this poem in my old blog, while Researching some of my writing history. I felt it stands up well against my current writings.

      Getting to the point: things are not quite as bad as that anymore, there has been some recent progress with counselling assistance.

      Am I okay? Yes/No depending on the time/day. Often I just want to curl up and cry, other times (like Saturday morning) I have loads of energy and everything seems fine. So that dichotomy of experiences is very unsettling of itself. I think IT IS really complicated, otherwise it would have been sorted out a while ago. Frustrations remain.

      Like

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