She learnt
to react to me
to make
the relationship work;
Reacting to
when I was upset
to fix the situation
– for the ideal life
to keep the peace
– because she grew up without

And I knew no better

when there is nothing
to react to;
When I feel okay
in a neutral
or positive space
She thinks
nothing needs fixing
everything is right
and doesn’t

But that
is exactly when
I need interaction
– positively
– building good times;
For it’s these times
she ignores me
all I feel
is that there is
no love
to show for me



11 thoughts on “Reactions

  1. A thought filled poem. Often what works at the beginning of a relationship is not enough to sustain it. Open communication and slowly growing together, showing our vulnerability – never easy.
    ‘Reacting to keep the peace because she grew up without’ resonates with me. It took years to build trust and to learn the difference between – reacting and taking action.
    So much that is important in this poem, Peter. x


  2. Thankyou Tricia for your wise words and sharing what you connect with here. Interestingly that line was what I considered the strongest herein.
    I could do with more patience, but it just won’t arrive soon enough 😉


  3. Right on the mark. I have felt this way so many times. When the times appear to be easy-going, I find myself the most alone. Taking the initiative to engage in authentic interaction when times appear to be good should come from the heart, and be important enough to be acted upon naturally, not just the routine maintenance. At least I think, that would be ideal. Am I crazy? …if so, maybe I’m not the only one. 🙂


    • Hi and thanks for the reblog. I appreciated your take on this poem, which is very much in line with my own thoughts. So I refute there being any craziness involved in your idealisation, otherwise I would be crazy also – and I am quite sure that is not the case (most of the time).
      Which leads to questioning my/your ideal and wondering how real that is possible to be in a fractured, painful world? Maybe as an ideal it is asking too much of some people, but as something I require to live, I see it as a reasonable requirement. It is after all, just a request for that which is key to any relationship, open & honest communication.


      • You’re welcome.. I just felt like it really resonated with me, and so I felt compelled to reblog! 🙂 I certainly appreciate your validation in that I am not actually crazy for feeling in the way that you have described in the poem. I think you’re right in that our ideal may be too much to ask for some people (maybe most people) but, if there is a chance out there to receive open & honest communication even (or maybe, especially) when things are seemingly going alright, then it is a reasonable requirement— a necessary ideal that is absolutely worth holding onto! Glad to know I’m not alone in that regard.


  4. This is a poem that resonates with a lot of feeling, sensitive people struggling to maintain a relationship that fulfills them. I have found that every head is its own world, its thoughts and reactions filtered through its personal experience, and that communication has to be carefully sought. Each person has his or her own script about a situation, and, unless there is an open dialogue between them, too many times it becomes dysfunctional. Oh, what fools we mortals can be!


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s