Emptiness

Life has been especially rough, more so than normal, the last few months. Abdominal pain undiagnosed despite many tests and hospital visits. The doctors say “great, it’s nothing serious” yet offer no real help to my ongoing discomfort. Now labelled Irritable Bowel Syndrome because nothing else suits. A leftover diagnosis.

Coupled with the stress of a 19 year relationship changing. Never what I thought it would be, and wondering what it yet might be. My body & spirit have been through the battles and worn down.

But the more I talk about my health, the more people assist with sharing their similar experiences and helpful advice. So a future of promise, just perhaps, a glimmer of hope, awaits, for those brave enough to reach out and grab hold.

– ♥ –

Emptiness
Hollow
Where are those emotions
that have been bursting within
for so long?

The loss
of feeling
Such a strange sensation
But it was all pain before
Now quiet.

Rest
Respite
Open to the positive
now
Gathering love
slowly
building up
a reservoir,
Anticipating
fulfillment.

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5 thoughts on “Emptiness

  1. Wow – it sounds like you have a lot to contend with. Did you ever get to the root of the pain (has it gone?) and I’m sorry to hear about the relationship. It must feel like your whole world is shifting and warping when something changes after so long?

    It’s amazing that you can find beautiful words when you’re feeling both physical and emotional pain.

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    • The pain is still an ongoing issue, last Friday was a bad morning for me. And likely the last few days have been after effects. Learning how to manage is what I am doing, in lieu of helpful medical resolutions.

      It is likely that relationship stress is the initiator for the current diagnosis. Professional assistance helps with that, but often the world around me moves so slowly. I am learning acceptance, slowly.

      Words seem the only way currently to express my feelings, when other avenues prove futile. And when I do find a hint of hope in them, it is the most encouraging experience possible.

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      • That sounds like a fantastic reason to keep writing. I’m sorry that the medical world does not seem to move at a suitable speed but I’m glad that there is a positive output from your difficulties. Your words are beautiful.

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  2. Your right I did like this one, I am sorry for you have gone through – it was nice to read a positive one, I guess there is hope 🙂

    “Gathering love
    slowly
    building up
    a reservoir,
    Anticipating
    fulfillment.”

    x

    Like

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